What is a pie?

I think we’ve justified the need for rules in My Quest to sample and rank all Bakers Square’s pies. The next thing we need to do is determine what falls under the category of pie?

Flipping through the Bakers Square dessert menu, it was clear that some items can naturally be classified as pie.

Apple pie – In
Cherry pie – In
Pumpkin pie – In
Carrot cake – Out
Hot fudge brownie a la mode – Out

Then there is our old friend the cheesecake. Where does cheesecake fall?

Now there are many people out there that are firm believers that the cheesecake is truly a cake. Why? I guess because cake is in the name. Now, on the surface that seems like pretty solid logic, I mean after all, why would you name a pie cake? That would be like naming your cat dog or your daughter son.

Doesn’t make much sense.

But wait! I think they – and by they I mean all those word nerds out there –have a name for this…an oxymoron.

Oxymoron: A combination of contradictory or incongruous words such as “cruel kindness.”

Boy, I think I need to look up some words that define the word I am looking up. That’s never good.

Oh wait. What about that movie, Renaissance Man? There was that bit on Military Intelligence.

Okay, so I have a question for those of you still clinging to the cheesecake-is-cake stance. What about Boston cream pie? There is nothing pie about it. It’s actually a cake with pastry cream in the middle. Based on your logic, since pie is in the name, it must be a pie. I disagree.

Let’s see what Webster’s has to say:

Pie – noun - a dessert consisting of a filling (as of fruit or custard) in a pastry shell or topped with pastry or both

Well, looking at that definition, I would say that a cheesecake is more of a pie than a Boston cream pie is. Granted, most cheesecakes don’t have a pastry crust, they do have a crust.

Okay, I think we have it.

Boston cream pie – Out
Cheesecake – In

Now, was that so hard?